I am sorry you are struggling like this as well. I really do get the feeling that he is ruining his life to get revenge/because he holds a grudge. While it is painful for us--he is hurting himself even more and he has so much potential. It is not just me (mothers almost always see the best in their sons) who says this--it was his teachers and all the mothers of his friends who thought this. Trauma happened after he graduated HS which we (his parents) did contribute to and he has possibly inherited some of my tendencies. I am no longer sure I am bipolar but I do have a lot of anxiety, low level depression and maybe OCD--the drugs that I now take have helped with the anxiety/OCD. I would never want to force him to take a drug (never put my children on any kind of drugs when they were young)--just want him to start counseling and he may need a drug to help with his rumination but that is his choice. My POV is that people have to come to that conclusion on their own--drugs are not the only way to cope with ruminations and all the rest. I still talk to him and help him everyday. I will never give up on him.