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amandalouise
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Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
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Default Jan 31, 2019 at 10:40 AM
 
I did some more checking on this as it relates to me and my alters... I wanted to do this because this thread peeked my curiosity about my childhood. you see I became DID because of extreme trauma before I was 5. I wasnt actually diagnosed until my college days but my alters were there from the first moment that my mind experienced such extreme trauma that the first alter creation happened before I was 5. this means all my childhood when ever I experienced something triggering I would have my dissociation symptoms and then the alter who dealt with that trigger would take control and handle that... for example in kindergarten if while in school it started to rain outside I would have dissociated and my alter rainy would have dealt with the fact that I was in school during a rain storm. she would have to do what ever was going on at that moment, like art class drawing and such...

my point is that my alters were taking control in every aspect of my life including drawing or other school activities any time I got triggered, which means that in elementary school my teacher would have documented in my files whether or not I was behind in skills for my age and grade, on track or advanced for my age and grade, in which case I would have either failed my grades and put in special education schools that dealt with special needs /mentally retarded/ mentally challenged/ what ever word your location uses, stayed on track of my grade and graduated on time or been placed in special classes for the gifted.

in terms of art class the notes my teachers made through out my school years was that on tests that required making drawings/ graphs and such I was right on the average percentile and along side my peers, none of my teachers noted anything to the affect that I was drawing above my age abilities.

for my own piece of mind for fear of possibly another alter who may be able to draw more advanced due to dissociation filters and such I contacted my treatment provider and we did some research on this interesting idea. turns out no my alters even those stuck in time so to speak would not have been able to perform any abilities beyond what their sense of agency was. if their sense of agency was to be a 5 year old child they would have been a 5 year old child in every sense of the word.

the reason mine would not have been able to color beyond their age grouping was because my alters followed the abusers code of "do not tell" if they were doing things beyond their age then that would have called attention to their existence and the abuse. in other words breaking the abusers code of do not tell.

anyone that wants to know whether their alters were able to perform daily functioning skills beyond their age and sense of agency and whether their system followed the abusers code of do not tell (in other words did things that would bring attention to their self ) you can get copies of your elementary school records by contacting the schools you attended. here in the USA you can go to the school and view your records and make copies of your records and they can send you copies of your records for free, if your file is extensive with lots of extra paperwork they may ask you for a small donation or fee per page copied.

I was so hoping to find that all my test scores, homework, class participation, everything that being able to draw beyond my age/ my alters age affects though out my elementary, jr high and high school would say I had alters that were coloring and drawing, graphing, charting, writing, reading, math, science and all that beyond my grade and age.

but for me it was not so. my grades, test scores and class participation was always right on track/ average/ not calling any attention to any special skills, though I did have some failing grades none to the point of consistency that would result in drawing major attention to except a reading / learning disorder called dyslexia.
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