Quote:
Originally Posted by Background Noise
It seems to me that he feels he is trapped by his family; if he cannot change the family and the family doesn't comply to his wishes, then the only way is to harm himself and revenge.
The good thing is that he is still talking to you. Try to use this leverage from time to time. I hope you all find a way to solve this with no one trying to control anyone. Controlling others is harmful, and it seems central to this challenge.
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This IS the issue. Very insightful. At times we have been too controlling but it also feels like he does this to me as well. Learned behavior?
My son is not able to be that far away at this time because he is not self sufficient at all. At times, family members have paid for school then, for a variety of reasons, it has not worked out. Lately, he has not been keeping a job. Lately, I have been hesistant to give him cash because I don't know for sure what is going on. His dad has asked for him to come up with a long term plan to be self sufficient. Though there have been times we have been too controlling (for example, insisting he enlist in the military)--I do not think it is out of line to expect a 24 year old man--who can be very charming, is intelligent, trim and muscular, fairly good looking, etc., to either keep a job or stay in school.