I'm so sorry you're struggling, spaghettios From what you wrote, it sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now. Are you taking any meds right now? Maybe that could help. It could help you make you feel more stable. Do you have any idea of why you start disliking your therapist? Is there any recurring pattern that you can see? Maybe you just haven't met the right therapist for you. I'd suggest to keep looking as I think it may really help you. Finding a good therapist isn't easy, and it takes time to develop trust, but it can be done. Do you have a support system IRL? Any friends or family that could help you? Is your mother being supportive of you? I'm so sorry, please don't give up. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I hope you'll feel better soon. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. We care about you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this