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LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
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Default Feb 01, 2019 at 10:11 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee View Post
I think this idea of a therapist as an authority figure is an interesting one. I do see my T as an authority on psychology and relationships, given her training, experience, and what I assume is a natural knack for dissecting human interactions. My sense of her authority in that domain comes from years of hearing her observations and predictions and then comparing them to my real-life experiences. She has accurately explained people in my life that she has never met, so I do weight her opinions about certain things pretty heavily, probably more than anybody else's except my own.

Aside from my estimation of her expertise, I also see her as an authority figure in the traditional sense. But I see that as power that I have given her in the context of our relationship, and I retain the ability to revoke my consent and either leave therapy or change the parameters of our interactions. I give her that power because I can't experiment with being vulnerable and trusting somebody to take care of me without putting her in a position of authority to do that. This is all reworking childhood stuff, which is where I personally need to be. I could see other people not needing to play out that dynamic, though, and thus seeing their therapist more like a consultant or a trusted friend or somebody who is paid to sit there and stay back.

Regarding your first part, my T has said he feels it's a partnership, where he's the expert on psychology and I'm the expert on LT.

What you say about giving her that power in order to be vulnerable and trusting rings true. I don't think I included this, but in one of the authority figure discussions with T, I said how I think part of why I see him that way is that I've been so vulnerable with him, that I've told him some things I haven't really shared with other people, let him see me be really emotional, etc. And I'm trusting him to still accept me despite what I tell him, which is something I wanted but didn't/don't so much get from my parents. So even though I don't have the same paternal transference for him that I did with ex-MC--like I've never thought "I wish he could have been my dad" or things like that--there's still some parental stuff at play in the dynamic. I think this is a conversation I need to continue with him, so that maybe I can figure out how to shift the dynamic, or at least for us both to understand it better. Because maybe that could help me with the dynamics of other authority figures in my life (whether now or in the future).
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