Thank you for such thoughtful input. Lots of things to ponder over. I've got a wonderful therapist that I believe will be an instrumental guide & sounding board. I'm just coming to terms with connecting trauma to my experiences. I've walked around for many years I think never seeing things for what they truly have been and just how much they have affected my total view of everything. At 45 yrs old, this is a very insecure and unstable feeling. I question everything and have lost my self trust. You are probably accurate that maybe it won't seem so large once it is all really explored and processed in the right setting.