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Anonymous45521
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Default Feb 03, 2019 at 11:35 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovejones24 View Post
. And honestly I don’t have the energy for this anymore. I don’t have the energy to make friendships work. Bc no matter if you tell someone you’re wounded they don’t gaf they’re only looking for what they can get out of you.
I feel the same. I can't decide if people that don't feel this way actually do have good friends OR are just very forgiving.

My boss is an extrovert and I said to him the other day that if Hitler walked into room my boss would say he was a "good guy". He said no but I think it is true. He just doesn't seem to have the capacity that I do to be able to hold grudges or to really recognize when someone has been using him. Consequently it seems he is beloved.... but widely used. But he doesn't care about that.

I wonder sometimes if this is the key... just making myself less able to notice when people are not my friend and not caring about them using me.. but, I can't. I am just "smarter" than most people and I can see these things.

I want friends, I really do. And I am a good friend. But I cannot tolerate people using me or betraying me or liking other people better than me. So I would rather be alone. No matter what trials that makes for me.
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