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Reagan85
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Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Melbourne, AU
Posts: 17
5 yr Member
Default Feb 03, 2019 at 07:58 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Well... what can I say about this? I'm an older person myself. I kicked around the mental health services where I live for around... oh... 16 or 18 years or so before I finally just left it all behind a couple of years back. I still don't have anything in the way of a diagnosis. I suppose there must be something written down somewhere for insurance purposes. But realistically it's not based on anything.


You wrote that you feel mental health professionals judge you more harshly now because you're 33. I've written a number of times, here on PC, that it is my opinion older people are just excess baggage on the mental health railroad. I don't know at what age that begins though because I didn't become involved with mental health services until I was around 50. And, by that time, I was already there. However the fact that you feel more harshly judged makes sense to me.


My own personal opinion of mental health diagnoses is that they're just one professional's opinion of how what little they know about you happens to fit into the criteria in the DSM which may or may not be accurate & may or may not be useful in terms of a person's figuring out their life. You mentioned having depression & anxiety & possibly OCD along with some BPD traits. Depression, anxiety & some minor OCD traits are also things I've struggled with. Plus I have also thought there was a time, when I was young, I might well have been diagnosed as having BPD as well... not anymore. I've been told BPD tends to burn itself out as a person ages. And I've certainly done that. And, like you, it has occurred to me from time-to-time that perhaps I'm just a bad person. I think that's probably a pretty normal thought amongst all of us who struggle with mental health issues.


You wrote that you hoped someone might say: "it’s okay, you’re suffering from common anxiety/depression/OCD symptoms and you’re not a bad person, and you’re not alone." So I'll say it... sort of. I don't know if what you're struggling with is common anxiety / depression & OCD symptoms. I'm not a mental health professional. So it's not my place to say. Plus I obviously don't know you. But what I can say is that struggling with mental health issues does not make you a bad person. And you're clearly not alone. Just look at all of the people from around the world who are members here on PC!


One thing I noted, in your post was your comment: "I should have the intestinal fortitude to break that cycle, but I don’t." Years ago I participated in a partial hospital program where they told us: "Don't should on yourself." It's good advice. There is no particular way you have to be... & no one you have to try to satisfy other than yourself... to the extent you can.


You mentioned you feel you need clarification with regard to your diagnosis. I don't know if that will really be helpful. Maybe it will. Maybe it will just be another turn of the wheel. It's not my place to say. One thing that occurs to me, with regard to a possible BPD diagnosis, is the concept of the "quiet borderline". I've sometimes thought that if I could ever have been diagnosed as having BPD, it would have been of this sort. Family therapist Kati Morton has a video on her YouTube channel on this topic. Here's a link:


YouTube


And then beyond that here are links to 3 articles, from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help or at least interest:


When You Feel Absolutely Awful About Yourself—Regularly


When You Feel Worthless


5 Ways to Free Yourself From Dark and Obsessive Thoughts


My best wishes to you...

Thank you Skeezyks, it means a lot to me that you took the time to read and reply to my post. I’ve watched the video and read the articles you linked to, and I think they will be helpful once the funk lifts a little more. :-)
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