Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigheadbob
I wish I could pause my life I just feel like it's getting too much. People who I trusted all abandoned me and I feel bad because I got too dependent on them. My girlfriend dumped me because she said I got too dependent on her and it was not possible for to carry all the emotional load that I dumped on her. They all left and I'm trying to learn to stop letting people into my life
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Hello Bigheadbob. I am so sorry you're struggling. It's really hard to deal with things alone, isn't it? I've been there. And I can also relate to the desire to want to pause life. If only!
The fact that you developed awareness of your tendency to be a bit too dependent on others at times might actually be a good thing! I know it doesn't feel that way now. And I am sorry you feel badly. But perhaps there are better times and more lasting/balanced relationships in your future!! If you feel the need to be on your own a while, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Then in time, when you feel ready you could make it a goal to find a middle ground in your relationships. It may be helpful for you to read the following:
Independence and Interdependence—What's Best for Love? | Psychology Today
Dependency, Counter-Dependency, and Interdependency | Psychology Today
You are not alone with this struggle. It's hard for most of us to get this balance just right. I think many of us need to work on it. Ever tried therapy? That could help.
I'm sorry you and your gf are no longer together. That's a sad loss. Be patient and kind to your Self while you grieve the loss.
I wish you peace.