Day 16 going on 17 ..
Had a few rough days, but with assistance with supportive people along with what I know to use for myself, I am still going.
Though I have to laugh for a second, and remind myself life goes on while I do this journey... with my car's check engine light on...again ... Sunday (today) I didn't deal with much, it'll be addressed or at least taken to a shop to check out what the code is.... life goes on.
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Also today I realized that since June 2018 I had been tracking my attempts to cut back or quit smoking before this Jan 18 attempt..
It may be confusing to some- but just more realization for me on the problem and struggles
. Some what seeing if trends too..
My tracker shows that
June started strong with not buying a pack, (i recall trying to quit then).
But July and part of August- its like I bought a pack and made it last like a week and half or so and then weekly.
then started to smoke up again Sept.
In October -went back to weekly or biweekly packs.
November weekly
December started up again with more frequent buying a pack with in a week...until the holidays got closer....
I sometimes wish I was better with tracking, like daily notes, as I have issues with that in general.
None the less, I understand more on me and see some sort of tracking..
I share this, because I know when I read some suggestions with how to quit smoking and doing a journal or tracking- I wonder why? and don't fully understand why.... I see, right now I am just using the tracker for "putting on a patch" ... I probably should had done a mood tracker too (I have issues with that all though)).
This reminds me too ... back In March 2016 when i started to smoke after almost a year, i wrote down what smoking a cig was like at that time... again a strange me thing I guess.....
Just part of my "data collecting " of why does an addict do what they do? .... with me as the subject, getting lost along the way .... it's all so subtle...
I think today is a good reminder for me to read why and how, nicotine is so addictive.
Why is Nicotine Addictive