I have so many self-help books. I try to read them but get triggered and often upset when doing so. It takes me a very long time to process them. For some reason, I am very slow to process the information and it's often emotionally painful. Sometimes reading self-help books makes me depressed. Some books will get me triggered and upset after only reading a few paragraphs. Consequently, I don't have a good record with them.

I am currently suffering from insomnia. I was having bad dreams - they are a symptom of C-PTSD. So here I am at 4 A.M. after having tossed and turned in bed for an hour. I know that I will get up and go to work tomorrow despite how tired and depressed I am. Work is not going well. People are giving me a hard time. I need the job because I need the health insurance. If I lose it, I will not be able to afford my heart medications. Currently, since I don't tolerate statins, I take an injectable medication that costs $300 per dose. I work hard but people don't like me. It's the story of my life.