Just getting this out, about the usual obsession problem.
If anyone is readng this, the original obsession explanation is here: https://forums.psychcentral.com/anxi...ng-stupid.html

I feel a lot of shame about this obsession because of what it is. Something I shouldn't like and shouldn't be looking at. But it's not really me, I don't really like them, these obsessions have a mind of their own and impose themselves on me. I've seen these objects loads of times before and never liked them, never even took any notice of them. Then suddenly I become totally obsessed to the point that I think about them all the time? That not real. So how can I be ashamed of myself if I didn't choose to like them in the first place?

I've never chosen any of these obsessions. Most of them are totally stupid, ridiculous things I've never had the slightest interest in before (like the current one). So I realised I don't really like these things. How can I, when I've seen them everywhere for years and never liked them or cared. Surely if I really liked them, then I'd have took an interest years ago.

If I could choose what to be obsessed with, I'd have no idea what to choose. I don't want to be obsessed with anything really. But it definitely wouldn't be the thing I am obsessed with, I'd have to think of something acceptable. But I don't. These obsessions just happen and I can't seem to control them.

I honestly can't imagine not being obsessed with something. I've always had an obsession, and when one ends, it moves onto another. Sometimes I have more than one at a time, but usually that's more of an overlap, where an old one is fading and a new one is starting. Also there's been side obsessions alongside the main obsessions, but these are usually short lived. There has always been an obsession. I don't even know what it feels like to be free of this and not be obsessed with something. I can't imagine it, can't imagine not constantly daydreaming about an object I want and can't have.

My last obsession went on for a while after this one started, but I think it's finally finished now, as I never daydream about them anymore. I've realised this obsession is following the same pattern as the last one, going through the same things. If it is, then I'm now on the last stage. I thought I was on that stage before, but it wasn't, not quite. This is it though, it feels exactly the same. This one has moved along a lot quicker than the last one and I know the reason for that. I've pushed myself to look at them and form new daydreams etc, hoping that I can hurry up and end it. I've really hoping that this is the last stage and that it ends soon. I wish I knew how to hurry it along even faster.

But I really don't want it to move on to anything else, I want to be free from obsessions. I don't want a new one. I wish I knew how to make that happen but I don't understand how the obsesions work from the beginning, why they form, and why they choose the objects that they do. And I guess I'll never know.

Just needed to get that out and didn't want to hijack any other threads with such a long rant.