Husband is a childhood rape victim. He was severely traumatized and never told anyone or got help.

I noticed he had severe issues in our marriage and asked him to seek help and he would not.

He finally had a mental breakdown in January and was hospitalized following a suicide attempt.

A lot of secrets came out that I’m trying to process and I’m trying to help him.

He is doing the work and I’m really proud of his progress. He is on medication and is in therapy.

One of our problems is that he cannot remember all of his behavior, even when confronted with evidence. He is admitting to as much as he can recall. He has admitted some very difficult things.

He has always struggled with an addictive personality and compulsive lying. Right now his tentative diagnoses are depression, anxiety, PTSD and bipolar.

He told me that even though a lot of his behavior was sexual in nature, it wasn’t for sexual purposes. He did not masturbate or even get aroused by his behavior. He would impulsively do things like sext or watch porn but would feel nothing. So he kept trying and kept trying more and more things and still feel nothing.

He said he even went as far as to go meet people but would turn around before he got there because he realized that a) he wasn’t getting anything out of it and b) couldn’t follow through.

He said sometimes he would sit and sob because he didn’t know how to stop and was so empty and so ashamed.

My problem is that he IS a compulsive liar and I have a hard time wrapping my head around this. Porn with no arousal or masturbation? Forgetting what he has and hasn’t done?

In the end I don’t really care WHAT he did but WHY and we are trying to get to the bottom of it all. I want him to heal and change his behaviors and so does he. I also honestly don't want a bombshell later that he DID physically cheat, although I'm somewhat prepared for that.

He has other compulsive habits that seem to bring him no joy- hours of xbox at a time, or picking up his phone every 30 seconds to read the same stuff he just read.

I’m especially concerned about the fact that he can’t remember some of his behavior.

Any insight or advice would be great.