P.S. Oh, and I meant to say that you are definitely not crazy, since it's not just you, but also other people (your daughter, your mother, etc.) noticing her behavior. I think other people who will get close to her may also start to catch on to it, since these behaviors are manifested in close friendships and family relationships--not just romantic ones. If it hasn't already, it can get to the point where she is not only jealous of people, but even THINGS (such as work or hobby) that takes your attention off of her.

I hope that you find peace one way or the other, that is, whether she changes or you decide to leave. No matter what her diagnoses is, one thing is for certain: No one deserves to be treated like that.