I'm so sorry, rise13eyond It must be really hard for you right now. Please don't give up. I know things seem pretty bad right now, but trust me when I say that they can get better. You do matter and you have a lot to give to this world. Depression is like a big black cloud that doesn't allow us to see the beautiful things that are in our life. Try to do something for yourself - even something simple, like eating an ice cream or buying a nice dress for yourself. Anything that can help you keep going, even if it's only for a short while. Take it one step at the time. I know it's hard. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Take baby steps. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you