Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - Am I a lesbian?
Thread: Am I a lesbian?
View Single Post
Old 02-08-2019, 12:52 PM
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise amandalouise is offline
Wise Elder
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: NY
Posts: 8,272
amandalouise amandalouise is offline
Wise Elder
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: NY
Posts: 8,272 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
778 hugs
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Am I a lesbian?

Originally Posted by AquaRose8 View Post
Recently I found out about Asexuality and it sounds like what I'm feeling since I'm not interested in having sex with men or women, but when I think about my future:

When I think about waking up in bed, I envision a woman next to me and taking her in my arms or vice versa. ( I just don't see that with a man )

When I see lesbian couples online, I see that as my future and I want to have children with a woman.
I take it you have not had sex yet and are not interested in having sex. thats ok. but this alone does not define whether you are asexual or not. it says you are celebate. Celebate is not having sex. not interested in having sex at the moment, refraining from having sex.

Asexual people never even think about having sex. they dont plan to ever have sex now or in the future. they do not even define their self as being male or female.


my asexual friend does not mark any paperwork male or female when it asks for her gender because she does not define herself as woman or man.

She has no "girlfriends" or "boyfriends" her friends are not defined in gender. She has "friends"

she has no interest in watching sports and exercise events defined in gender like she didnt prefer to sit instead of exercising so that she could watch the girls. she watches sports for the sports entertainment (she watches football for the football action not the players with the muscles and great body, she watches volleyball for the volley ball action not for the beautiful women in short shorts and tank tops)

when my asexual friend watches videos online they dont make her aroused or interested or make her want to have what she sees in the videos. lets put it this way she makes a great sex ed teacher because nothing her students ask or discuss phases her, nothing arouses her and nothing surprises her. she is able to discuss all aspects of the human body and sex totally neutral/ impartial/ with no fear of wanting or arousing her body. she doesnt even get that normal blush sexual humans get when discussing the human body and sex.

her future plans living by herself enjoying the life of a single non sexual, non gendered person.

in short a person who is asexual has absolutely no interest or plans around sex including sexual organs and gender. There is even a physical component of how their body hormones and other things work in their bodies. their bodies are physically incapable of being aroused because of their bodies are not producing whats needed for arousal whether they are watching a man or a woman or two of each. makes no difference.

my suggestion why put labels on yourself when its clear that these labels may change in the future. you have posted you have no interest in sex but you envision a future of having sex. this tells me that obviously you are not asexual. that right now you are ......celibate...(not having sex, sexually abstinence) and thats ok.

someday when you are ready you will have sex with who ever and which ever gender you want to and you will know for sure what actually pleases you from experience and then if you still want to label your sexuality you still can. right now just enjoy who you are in this moment.
amandalouise is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says: