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Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones
I feel the same way. Although, I only have one person I feel comfortable talking to, but they're not a safe person to talk to...can't be myself, can't always say what's on my mind, can't hang out anymore because we used to be romantically involved and we aren't anymore.
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I'm sorry this is your situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones
I can imagine it actually. It's very unnatural to me. I don't want to be touched usually if I'm upset. At one time I might have wanted to be held and "truly cared for" (as though that's a thing that exists) but it was used as a weapon against me. As in, withholding affection to punish me I guess. So I'm not sure how one can trust affection from an attachment figure? If it's only when you "deserve" it, it makes it always a weapon.
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I'm sorry affection has been used in this way. My experience is slightly different in that I had to ask for a hug or to hold hands which made it feel like it was never real. The only time any contact was volunteered was if there was an alterior motive (sex). I stopped asking. I stopped wanting to be intimate. & now there is nothing. I feel like there is a gaping hole in my chest which I try & stuff full of other things but they don't stop the hurt. The emptiness. The lonely.