Thanks Mickey.

I know I have the strength deep down but issues with substances have been rife with me over the past 10 years and stem long before that. I guess it all started with binge drinking and heavy cannabis use at high school. I then progressed onto experimenting with drugs, particularly stimulants whilst at university. That ultimately resulted in possible schizophrenia or long-term drug-induced psychosis. The dury is still out. I’ve been addicted to nicotine since my mental health problems flared up and I was addicted to stimulants too for a year. I guess I just have an addictive personality, or rather a lack of impulse control.

I really do want to get on top of this soon. Nip it in the bud whilst I’m still realively young. (I am 31). I guess my biggest problem is that I still enjoy alcohol. I feel some guilt and worry about consequences but I still do. I hate that I might have to give it up for life but that seems to be my lot.

I suppose substances have always provided relief for me in many ways. I just need to find something else to offer fulfilment but it’s hard forgetting many of the many positive experiences I’ve had on various things. Alcohol is perhaps just the latest in an attempt to fill a void that has long been empty. If that makes sense.