It will take time, Loial, so try not to feel too discouraged. I'm glad you're reaching out for help. That means that you do want to get better. No need to feel guilty about enjoying alcohol. Alcohol is meant to be enjoyed after all. The problem arrives when it becomes an addiction. Like you've already said, you just need to find another outlet for your fullfilment. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. Remember that we're here for you. Sending many hugs to you