I'm so sorry, ExplodingSun56 I know how you feel. You're definitely not alone on this, as this thread has already shown. I agree with all the others. You may be feeling this way because of guilt, shame, ecc. Perhaps you just need to work on your social skills. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. I believe there are also some good self-help books on the subject. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. Socializing is hard, but it can be done. It just requires practice, I suppose. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you