I'm so sorry, HopefullyLost1211 I know it's hard. Please don't give up. Remember that you're not alone. You have us. We're here to support you if you need it. You're a wonderful person and you have helped so many people here at PC, it's time we help you. I know you're strong. Try to hang on. Things will get better. You won't stay like this forever. Try to hang on to that thought. I think you're handling all of this pretty well, even though you're struggling. I agree with AzulOscuro. If things get worse, talk to a doctor about this and see how it goes from there. You deserve to get help. I'm so sorry you don't have a support system IRL. But we're here for you. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. You know we won't judge you. Stay strong, HopefullyLost1211. I know you'll get through this. You're a wonderful person. We all love you here. We care about you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you