Thanks so much, Artley.
The last three paragraphs of the Psychology Today article were right on, for me. And the definition of autonomy as "self-governing" in the first article was really cool, too.
Trauma and dissociation, however it manifests, has meant for me that certain parts were split-off. And while I "got in touch" with them in therapy, integrating those and having them learn to regulate and coordinate with each other has been another challenge altogether.
The notion of autonomy -- and that I have a desire, a need for that -- again a cool idea. Makes sense to, and resonates with, me.
In thinking of times when I have surrendered to others' "dominance", for instance, the last paragraph of the Psychology Today article seems right on.
Quote:
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Life of course often doesn't permit autonomy. . . When we remind ourselves, however, of the reasons we're doing something we don't want to do, reasons that represent our autonomous desires, it becomes clear that we've voluntarily surrendered our autonomy in the name of our autonomous desires. We always, in fact, have the power to say no. We just then need to be prepared to live with the consequences of that choice.
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When parts of me were more dissociated, I didn't always realize or know the reasons that I did, or wanted to do, things that other parts of me didn't want to do. Or the consequences, necessarily, of not doing them. The consequences were sometimes horrendous, and dysregulating in their own right, once I started to say "no" to over-compliance with some things.
Learning what was "in proportion" and what was not has also been a learning task for me. I had learned growing up how to behave appropriately by cutting off the "inappropriate"/frowned-on impulses. So there was a dimished awareness, and some "choices" were unconscious, seems like, or at any rate didn't participate in my everyday, "apparently normal", way of being. It's better now, I think, but still difficult sometimes.