I really feel alone, even though my family is here. I don't mind feeling alone. What I mind is the fact that sometimes I just hate my job. A lot of people tell me how well I do at the job, but it means nothing to me, well it does feel good, but it doesn't change the fact that i wish I had chosen another profession. Last week a teacher put a student into my class because he said he didn't get along with him. So, when I went to give him an extra student, he picked the student who was the easiest and was doing the best. Mind you, I have no qualms taking the student at all. The male teacher is at a bit of a higher position than me. So, what I despise is the fact that I feel taken advantage of. I generally am too depressed to be happy going to work. I change tunes when I am with my students. It's too late for me to change careers. I am kind of in mourning for never having known who I was and what I wanted to do until it was too late. I think my mental illness wouldn't have been so horrible if I had a job I was really, really interested in. If I had money, I would go back to school. I am looking for something to volunteer for in the related field I would like to go in, but I haven't found much. I really don't want to go to work tomorrow, I feel imprisoned by my work situation. Maybe I am just too negative and need to change my outlook. But I'm so depressed. So tired of pushing forward when I just want to give up.