Copia, this Ted Talk does not mention your specific concerns but it may still be of interest or even solace to you. For example, the presenter delineates research proving that a human body can exhibit signs of sexual arousal by a stimulus or person that they are not actually choosing to be aroused by. Does that make sense? She certainly explains it better than I can! And she's open and warm and non-judgmental while she discusses sexual quirks.

Please be advised that there is discussion of sexual abuse in this talk. I don't know if that would trigger anxiety for you but thought I should mention. I think if you watch it, you'll understand why I sent it to you on this thread.

Emily Nagoski: The truth about unwanted arousal | TED Talk