Part of what I'm angry with is myself for getting this cirrhosis of the liver. I must of thought I was indestructible. I was never told that Fatty Liver Disease can lead to cirrhosis. Just always instructed to lose weight and eat low fat. I'm mad at myself for not listening, for being careless with my health. I feel like my family(of origin) blames me for getting cirrhosis, like I brought it on myself so why should they care? They act as if they don't give a flying *&#$. Well, I guess I don't really know what's in their hearts for they don't say. They ignore me for the most part. I understand they have their own health concerns and families and are up in years, too. Not one of them has said anything the least bit comforting to me, though.

I just am really scared under it all. Fearful of getting very sick, of bleeding to death from this disease, of ending up in the hospital for long periods of time, scared my pets will have no one to care for them. But I having been taking positive steps to help my health. Going to see a dietician to find out what is really best to eat, how much and how often with this disease.

Thanks for reading this if you got this far. Just needed to say this stuff.

Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,