I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, aimlesshiker Just wanted to let you know that I've read your post and that I care about you. I feel like you're handling all of this pretty well. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist right now. Is it helping you? I'd also suggest to try to start taking meds if you can. Maybe that could help. I'd also suggest to take a break from your relationship if you feel like it's stressing you out too much. Take some time for yourself. It sounds like you really need it. Just keep doing what you're already doing. Try your best. That's all you can do after all. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. I'm so sorry, I wish I've had more advice to give to you. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. We all love you here. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you