I think its important to look within and make sure you are seeing some meaning but what you say he says and does. How do you know he was disappointed? I know we can read into tone a lot. When you cant lay eyes on someone to see their body language its hard to truly know what they are feeling like. And you have to sometimes take him at face value. If he told you he was disappointed then ok, he is. But he did not. And him getting mad about you wanting to die...how did he convey that? Did he yell at you and call you a weak fool or threaten to break up with you? Was it concerned anger? Like you could hear he was angry but it was because he would miss you and loves you? Has he told you he loves you? what are your plans for the future?