Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I guess there is a sense in which, if you can be accepting of yourself just the way you are (even if you feel you're messed up), then perhaps that's an okay place to be.
I guess there is a sense in which that's where I'm at as well. You asked "if a kid gets raped, but doesn't know what sex is, and is cooperating, is it still rape?" My personal opinion would be yes absolutely! It's still rape. And I'm confident it would be considered to be such by the authorities where I live. (Of course I can't speak for where you live.) I hope you're okay...