Anyone out there experiencing the same?

We are being as proactive as we know how to be. Lined up with a DBT therapist, a DBT minded psychiatrist, recently were proactive in helping our daughter get eligibility for an IEP. Her educational setting switched at the time of the IEP in late Nov. 2018 to a behavior unit at the middle school next to where I teach 4th grade.

It's been a 7th grade year of ER visits, hospital stays in the children's hospital behavior unit, some medication switches. Our daughter tends to get fixated on self harm or paranoia of others trying to harm her.

So much of it seems attention seeking. She is impulsive/argumentative. Our 14 year old daughter in high school and I tend to be the primary targets of our youngest daughter's anger. She is much kinder with her words to my husband.

When she really loses it, food is the only thing that gets her back on an even keel.

Today for example, she comes to my classroom. My students leave for the day. Once I finish dismissal responsibilities, our daughter is starving and demanding of food (a sign that she didn't eat well during the day).

I offer her snacks that I have stored in my room like microwavable mac n cheese, which doesn't interest her.

I realize that she wore 2 bras under her jacket, and I let her know that's not appropriate for school. Words quickly fly from her telling me to "go to hell."

I correct her on how she is talking and let her know that we will go get food, when she calms down.

She gets it together a bit. As we proceed to the car, she talks about how strong she is and that I am weak. I let her know that I am stronger than her in many ways (not lifting weights).

Our daughter is empowered by having bipolar. We haven't specifically talking about borderline directly, for her first diagnosis in 5th grade suggested behavior that resembled factitious disorder.

We have an appointment at the end of the week, reviewing her current medicine of abilify (15 mg per day) and buspar (20 mg per day).

Our daughter gets obsessive about things. Most recently has been about an obsession of a boy friend, who recently broke up with her. She has her eyes on someone different, but her mind is still fixated on this boy from her behavior unit, that she fell in love with her, first day in the unit.

Is anything I am saying typical or bipolar or borderline? She is resistant to therapy and strategies to help her.

Any tips on helping her to self advocate for her self. Her lack of respect she shows me is unwarranted.

I only want the best for her. Want her to care about her life once again.

So much of our energy is zapped by her. We try to live as normal of a life for our self driven and self reliant 14 year old daughter, who runs on her Varsity track and cross country high school teams.

There is a lot of good in our world, and a lot of what feels like running in circles trying to help our youngest get to a better place.

Any advice. Thanks for your time.

Mom4hope