Im afraid of screwing up another new friendship
im really into her and she's always been nice but i have this feeling inside that just keeps repeating things... such as its always like this in the beginning, we will become better friends and something will happen to make her not want to talk or see me again...


Im terrified of her because im trying to ignore it and be cool but so afraid that it will happen any minute..?

She knows im into her but im not trying to be overwhelming or smothering and trying hard to focus on the goals .. car, job, house . Its just so much nicer and enjoyable with a nice person to stand with me


Sigh, just trying to be prepared for if it does happen with her too... i dont understand why do i keep trying? or even care at this point?

Arent i supposed to become numb and less bothered by these things happening?

Yet i crave companionship