Im so sorry bluebird

For what its worth im almost losing my faith too. I dont pray like i want to anymore. Never really have but i feel less connected with god. I keep pushing him back and away from my life. It doesnt help that the bf doesnt believe. Thats a huge downside for me in this relationship. But idk. I need faith and strength again. I tell myself every week im gonna goto church and i just cant. I cant bring myself to do it. It hurts too much spiritually for me to go. I know if i go ill cry and i just want to cry alone.