Another thought for you Seeker...

you identified your biggest fear as the loss of control. That is very astute and insightful of you!!! I believe that every human's biggest fear is losing control. That's why death is terrifying to most...the idea of losing consciousness...of not retaining full control of body etc.

I work in healthcare and patients' fears of losing control have become apparent to me over the years. Aside from my other goals for the patient, my first priority is to figure out how to increase their individual sense of control...that is different for everyone.

I have walked into a patient's hospital room after hearing them screaming and swearing at some of the staff. On the surface, a person may perceive that patient as angry or difficult or even cruel. What I see is panic. And what do you think some staff will do in that situation? Try to take control!
But what we need to do is safely give control to the patient. There's an art to that...I'm not suggesting allowing unsafe behaviors.

For anyone to become so sick that they have to leave their home...to be dependent on strangers for help...that is frightening because their sense of control is low to zero! I've had a couple of minor surgeries in my life...I'll never forget being told that I could not take a shower post-op unless a nurse was in the room with me...in case I collapsed or something. My logical brain understood why I was told that but my fear-brain was thinking: get the heck away from me! You may not see me naked! I'm not a child! I can shower on my own! I did NOT say that out loud or scream (though I felt like it) but I ABSOLUTELY refused to shower with a nurse there. I insisted on nobody in the room and the shower-room door locked. I was desperate to retain as much control as possible.

This turned into a tangent I suppose, sorry! But I want to emphasize to you that fearing loss of control is VERY, VERY human. Not everyone may admit it but I think we all feel that way at times. Your version of the fear of lost control is related to prison. In a way there's a sort of logic to it, right? Prisoners have zero control over their day to day lives so you are scared that could happen to you because that is your impression of the ultimate loss of control.