Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas
Today is alright, but I'm also not alone. My MI doesn't disappear at the presence of others, I just can distract myself ever so slightly.
My thoughts on the change... well I guess I've changed a lot over the years. Before, I was in a pretty one-sided relationship and being alone was how I felt constantly anyway. I still feel like I'm separated from everyone, even when they're close. At the same time, I don't feel unloved for the first time in maybe my entire life. I have this best friend I live with and she makes things easier, or at least makes me feel like it's okay to not be okay. When I'm alone, it's not okay. When I'm around almost anyone else, it's not okay. But she makes me feel like I'm not a freak show. Maybe that's stupid because I know I am.
I think what's happened is I actually connected with someone and now I feel empty when it's not present. Does that make sense?
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Sounds like you really love her.
I live with my best friend as well. But I would love to be more than that. I've always had this emptiness in my life. Whenever I'm with her though I feel great and enjoy whatever it is we are doing.
I'm 38 and I've never met someone that understood me and had the same views on topics that no one else could grasp. So yes it makes total sense to me.
Also your not a freak show or stupid. I don't feel that way about myself and I'm going through the same thing as what you wrote.
Hang in there