Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - Constantly feeling bored, empty and afraid of missing something about life
View Single Post
Old 02-17-2019, 04:58 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,980
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Grand Poohbah
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets Humor is my end game..
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,980 (SuperPoster!)

107 hugs
given
Default Re: Constantly feeling bored, empty and afraid of missing something about life

Quote:
Originally Posted by BH7236 View Post
So... What about me? Well, I'd say that I experience a major issue about being constantly bored about everything. When I like new things, I'll be fully into it and then after one year or two, I'll get bored.

Then, the other major issue I experience is that I feel like there is a lack of meaning in what I do of my life.

Finally, then other major issue I experience is that I feel like life is too short, days are too short. There are too many things I'd like to do and I end up being overwhelmed by all the things I wish I had time to do. Because of that, I either don't sleep enough or I'm unhappy that I couldn't achieve what I wanted.
How do you feel aside from these things?
Quote:
More details about my life. Well, actually, I have nothing to complain about it and that's already a problem. I have a wealthy 9-to-5 job with 5 weeks of vacation. The job is not that much stressful in my opinion. I'm the only one putting stress on myself actually. The colleagues are great. I laugh a lot when I'm at work. I have a girlfriend who loves me so much and I do love her a lot also. I don't have kids yet, so I don't have that stress in my life yet.
But then, what? I feel like the job is not meaningful. You know, working in a office? Where people can be stressed out by "business issues"? I mean, nobody is gonna die if you are late or if you do a mistake. The only meaning of that job is that we are small parts of a whole that allows us all to have a job and money to live. Sure, we are working on something that has a meaning somewhere at the end, but to me I'm too far from that meaning. I mean, it's not like being a firefighter, a physician, a teacher, a social worker, a touristic guide or anything like that where the job you are doing has a direct feedback from how you are acting in a person's life. But I'm not a people-person. Well, I haven't worked on those kinds of people-skills. I'm good on one-on-one, that's about it. And I already have a wealthy career (even though I'm still not sure of my career path, I'm 30 and I've had some oscillating career path I would say).
Feeling like you do not have a purpose is really trying. On one hand you feel like you should be grateful that things are financially easy for you and on the other the like of a challenge leaves you wanting more out of your job. Is there anyway you could take on more or different responsibilities to make it more enriching?
Quote:
.I was very proud of it and it's good for health and self-esteem. But... 8 hours? Do I really need 8 hours of gym to be healthy? No. It's because I like to be intense and see noticeable changes. And then, what's the meaning of all this, what am I trying to prove? I was mostly doing it for the comments from the people, not for my health. Then I stopped and now it's been about 3 years with simply 0, nothing, nada, no gym, no sport at all. I've lost most of the gains I had and I hate that. I just feel like in a few years I wasted many years of effort. But I cannot do 8 hours weekly of each of the top 5 things I want to do. And as I said, I cannot get to balance my activities to do only a bit of each them. Because when you do only "a bit", it takes much more time to notice the effects of your efforts.
This is normal for someone that is doing something for someone else or because of how you think others should see you or because you think your value is reflected in how other people see you on the surface. If you are not doing something for you, then you shouldnt do it. Expecting others to admire your efforts is looking for validation in the wrong way-IMO. Self validation is the most important and the hardest to come by.


Quote:
Yup, that's my other issue. Time. It's everyone's main issue, I know. But yet, maybe not... Some people say that if I was rich and didn't have to work, I'd get bored. Well, guess what? Nope, definitely not! Because I could take the time to do all the activities I want to do without worrying about the job and the other responsabilities. I'd travel all around the world. I'd live 2 years in each country of the world, learn their language, their culture, their history, I'd meet people from all around the world. I'd take classes of everything - dancing, cooking, languages, art, science, sports, and much more! I'd get back to the university! Universities from all around the world! And guess what? I'd still think that I don't have enough time.
What is it about time that you think needs to change?

Quote:
Last thing, I need intensity, I need adrenaline rush. That's why I cannot do "a bit" of everything. Let's say I want to learn a language. I don't want to do 2 hours a week and be fluent in 2 year. No, I want full immersion for 3 months with intense classes and that would mean I'd be fluent in 4 languages after a year. That's what I call accomplishment! I also like adrenaline. I did skydiving, bungee, I own a motorcycle. Yeah, skydiving, I can solo jump and there's no better feeling in the world. The adrenaline rush, the panoramic view of the landscape from 15 000 ft. Wow. I also like to ressource myself by traveling and going to see huge landscapes from the top of a mountain where I suddenly feel like I'm alone in the world and so little but as if I was suddenly free and all that landscape was mine. I also like huge gigantic buildings. Anyways, I'm getting out of subject, but maybe it'll help you understand me.
There are some people I would call adrenaline junkies- and I often wonder if they are feeling numb inside and need the excitement to feel anything.

Quote:
Oh, I said I like intensity and I'm easily bored. Well, guess what, let's talk about sex. Yup, first months with a new girlfriend are wonderful. But then, well, after some time, I just don't feel the need for sex anymore. I could be a few weeks without sex, I wouldn't mind. And don't get me wrong, I wouldn't ever cheat on my girlfriend because of that. It's simply a sad truth.

All that also sums up to a feeling of being "too conscious". Feels like I always think too much, ask myself too many questions. That's why I'm bored (I always need new experiences), that's why I need adrenaline, that's why I need escape. It's the only ways for me to stop thinking and there are too few things that can help be escape from my mind.
Do you think its a possibility that you are depressed? I do not mean suicidal or hopeless but more like you cant feel anything one way or another.

Quote:
I do take alcohol and do drugs to escape a bit, but I don't abuse. I guess it's the only good side of being "too conscious"; I'm aware that alcohol and drugs are not a solution. But the bad side of being "too conscious" is that I don't enjoy experiences that I've already had, I just do some things because it's the right thing to do or because it's what the society would expect, but in reality I don't feel it. But I hate doing what the society expects us to do, but being an outlier is not easy either, so I have to keep a good balance between my own integrity of what I really want to do and some things that I have to do for the social status and well-being.
This whole post seems like you are looking for something and you are looking to find it easily and by trying all sorts of ways to stimulate yourself and make yourself feel something- almost like you are numb. I can assure you that no matter how fun drugs and alcohol can be and how in control you are and not addicted- its the #1 wrong place to look for escape. They will affect your mood and exacerbate all the negative things you are experiencing.

Quote:
Also, a bit more about me again. I really like to meet new people. I'm not someone who talks much simply because I don't have that spontaneity. But I'm definitly not timid. I'm not good at keeping friends because I just don't take news from them. I don't have friends because the only friends I would have would be those who we call "best friends" and to me finding a good match for a "best friend" is as hard as finding a good match for a girlfriend / life partner. Though, I go and see all the people who invites me in parties because they consider me as a friend. I don't see my family simply because I don't feel close to them. There is no particular reason for that. I mean, we do choose our friends, so if I don't feel like my family would be a good match as friends, why would I see them "just because it's family"? (There, that's an example of behaviour that shocks the society [the people around me])

Anyways, I guess I forgot so many things I wanted to say but I also wrote so much...

Answer whatever you want. I like people who are direct to the goal and aren't scared to say what they think. I take critics and comments very well and I'm very open-minded.

Well. Thanks for reading, at least.
I do not know how to tell you where to find peace and purpose. I think that a lot of it could be found by therapy or some sort of self reflective habits. I do not think all the things you mentioned are the keys to your happiness because you are not happy and you are doing these things. You have the freedom to do things that most people dream of being able to do. You have physical security and the normal insecurities that people feel are not felt by you. I suggest you volunteer somewhere regularly. You may not like the idea but its very hard to sit around thinking of all the things you do not have or do have while you are volunteering. I work with drug addicts and alcoholics. I go into the women's prisons and help with recovery stuff. It is so humbling. I am just like them- and yet I am nothing like them. It taught me gratitude and not the kind where you are thankful you have a good car or money- the kind of kiss-the-floor-you're-so-happy gratitude that can only come with getting to know the struggles of your fellow humans.
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote