Thank you guys didn’t mean to simplify our conditions. And not saying that there will be an easy fix. I have you guys support and that has helped me the most. When I was at my home country Venezuela (my dad had cancer stage 4 and went back for a year), I attended a Bipolar seminar, ironically not for me , but for my sister who suffers from schizophrenia, and I heard many patients talking to the doctor about the medicines they take lithium, rivotril, and many others. I felt like a tourist, but the doctor saw me and came up to me and he said “there are some people that just see everything dark” and took me by surprise because she could read me and I felt wow he could tell I am depressed. After that he explained that we need to focus on healthy habits to help us heal; walking, eating healthy food, do creative activities etc. Then I thought about all that and seemed great, but when I came back to planet Japan again all the stress, the closed society, living every day knowing I can’t see my kids, the. My dad dying, and the country in chaos I became suicidal. But the only thing helped me a bit was work, and in the line of work I do I get to know more about technologies in the healthcare sector and I am aware there are efforts to help mental illness, will I ever get to see any breakthroughs I don’t know, but I hope for it, for my sister , for my self and any body really dealing with any horribles disease. Too long and I am sorry is Sunday night in Tokyo and tomorrow have to go back to the working machinery keeping my face happy. Anyways hugs to all