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amandalouise
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
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Default Feb 18, 2019 at 10:33 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
that really triggered me

he asked me

Possible trigger:
I used to get asked this too. I found out that its actually quite normal for non DID people to ask this. Just about everyone in my off computer DID support group would enter group so offended by the fact that they were asked who they were before they got diagnoses.

I was never offended. I think of it like if I told someone something like I went sky diving last summer and they asked me if I had gone sky diving before then. or if I dyed my hair and someone complimented me and asked if I had always been this hair color, or if I got a tattoo and someone asked if I have other tattoos before this one. or like I get asked now when people notice my MS symptoms and I say I was diagnosed with MS, they ask how I was before the diagnosis.

Human beings are called the social species for a reason. We have a thinking, logical brain that needs to know things in order to survive. When I took an anthropology class I learned its human nature to question and need to know how the other people in our lives are. if cave men didnt know how their fellow cavemen were before they got sick then during that next hunt the caveman could not depend upon their fellow cavemen to help with the hunt and survive. you know that kind of stuff is just instinct for humans.

not saying its fun being on the side of being questioned. just that though its a triggering question for us, its normal question for others to ask.

my response to anyone who asks me how or who I was before a diagnosis, regardless of the diagnosis is look right at them and be honest. I was the same after diagnosis then I was before the diagnosis. getting a diagnosis doesnt change who and what a person is, it just answers questions of who and what they are and have been already.

Im also very choosy who I tell my mental and physical health information to. I dont tell just everyone guess what I had DID, guess what I have bipolar disorder, Guess what I have ptsd, guess what I have Macropsia, Guess what I have Multiple Sclerosis. the list goes on. I just dont do that. here in america we have privacy laws, no one needs to know my physical and mental health history except my treatment providers. if I dont want to answer questions from someone else about my problems I dont tell them about my problems, just like I wouldnt stand on the street corner yelling all the when wheres and how to's of my wifes and my sex life.

my suggestion is decide why it is important for you to tell non treatment providers about your having DID. then sit down and decide who you want to tell, then prepare your self for what I call "the unavoidable questions and answers session" with that non treatment provider person.
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