sometimes I feel like I'd be more attractive if I was more muscular. Unfortunately that wouldn't necessarily be true; as some women and communities discriminate against me because of my mental illness, gender, sexuality, religion, hair, skin color, race, age, economy, and height.

Like if I gained a lot of muscle, would women then want me? Well I haven't wanted any woman in a long time, regardless of how beautiful some women are. So even if I did gain a lot of muscle, that doesn't mean that women would want me.

gaining a lot of muscle is a huge time investment. If I want to gain a lot of muscle, it would have to be for a good reason with a sure solution. I'd rather enjoy my time on earth rather than waste it on pursuing fruitless and vain endeavors.