I can relate to living in fear and avoiding the challenging things in life, or not being able to take responsibility sometimes...
I think the fact that you are aware of how your behavior/mentality have affected you in the past is very important and the fact that you no longer want to keep living that way is even more.
I think when someone wants to change they need to do it for themselves. Decide what things you want in your life and start working on them little by little. Easier said than done [emoji14] I know... But I think setting specific goals that are not too big and you can achieve, could be a good beginning.
Good luck