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Old 02-19-2019, 02:16 PM
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Default Re: internalized homophobia

I think that dealing with internalized LGBTQ-phobia is just as a unique process as is the coming out process. For a lot of us, simply coming out was a long, drawn-out process, and I can see dealing with any negative internalization taking just as long or longer, depending on the situation and how one deals with their own issues.



Speaking for me alone, it took just experiencing a lot of different things--things I was curous about, things that scared me, things that I liked (or thought I would like)--and then processing how I felt with things as I went. It took experiencing different versions of the same type of experience to see what made things positive and what made things negative for me, so that I could better navigate future experiences. It also took me always doing positive self-talk of self-acceptance in order to get through to myself that I am okay the way I am, flaws and all. Just because I came out to myself once didn't mean that I was finished with the process of fully coming out to myself, in all ways that it could mean. "I am gay," is a stateement that hits just one point. What kind of person am I as a result of this? How do I interact with my world and surroundings as a result of this? Who am I to myself as a result of this? How do I understand everything else about me as a result of this? You are essentially rebuilding your sense of identity, and that is not a simple, short task. It is a lifelong journey that brings awareness and understanding and acceptance with each step.



Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Wouldn't you be that way for a friend or family member if they came out to you? Give the same to yourself. Live, try, process, self-talk, self-encourage, and give yourself the room to grow into yourself more and more.
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