I feel really tired,angry,sad,depressed and a bit numb too.I no longer use food to stuff down my emotions,this leave me feeling a bit rudderless when emotions come up,sometimes the emotions are hard to deal with like when I am angry or sad.

Today went as planned,I had a grocery shop delivered and I packed it away.Also delivered were cat biscuits and a patio door lock which I was able to fit myself.A man came from a security company about getting CCTV so I could know if my sister tried to enter my house.I can get a camera linked to my phone that records and monitors 24/7.It is affordable so i can go ahead and get it.I will feel much better when this is fitted and up and working.

I am unhappy right now.I don't know how to reconcile myself to having suffered so much abuse in the past and because of that my life is directionless now.I don't know what it would take,what has to happen for me to be happy.