View Single Post
Marylin
Grand Magnate
 
Marylin's Avatar
Marylin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 3,017
8 yr Member
863 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 20, 2019 at 07:26 PM
 
I am meant to be sticking to 1300 calories or thereabouts but today I ate 2000.I started with good intentions but depression set in,some emotions came up.I thought I had stopped using food as comfort but today I did resort to comfort eating.

It was a tiring day I has a lot to get done and though I did it,the tiredness meant depression set in.Now I have made plans to go out tomorrow and on friday.But something is telling me I should stay home tomorrow and recharge my batteries and just have a rest day,and I think that s what I should do,but by tomorrow after a night's rest I may find as I usually do that I have a lot more energy and that staying home is boring.But I still think I should stay home and force myself to rest.I hate when I go back and forth like that between two options and can't decide what to do for the best.

I also hate that I force myself to go out and end up at the pub eating food that I shouldn't and that is too high in calories because I can't stand my own company at home and to face the emotions being alone at home brings up.As a child when we moved to another city age 7 and I lost all my childhood companions and my sister stayed in the original home town while I was in the new location with my parents,I dealt with the loss by overeating and using crisps and chocolate to comfort me.But no matter how much I ate I was still empty inside and wanted to eat more and more and did so.Ate 7 I was a normal weight for a child my age by the time I was 10 though I was 140 pounds.So that is crazy and to this day food replaces human companionship for me.Probably because I am depressed I am magnifying how bad I feel about that and my being obese,and I am more in control of my eating now days than I have ever been .So maybe I shouldn't beat myself up and feel bad about today's 2000 calorie intake.

I should weigh myself soon to see if I am still losing!
Marylin is offline