I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, raging vortex I have never experienced this, so unfortunately I don't have a lot of advice to give to you. Just wanted to let you know that I've read your post and that I care about you. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to deal with this alter. I'm so sorry, I wish I've had more advice to give to you. Try to talk to your treatmen providers if you can. Hopefully they will be able to help you. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, raging vortex. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you and your alters. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this