At this point it feels like I'm not allowed, or shouldn't have any emotions beyond undying love for family. Living with my stepdad stretches me thin when I already feel like paper. I like to let everyone think everything's fine, but that really only because no one can, or wants to put up with anything short of the glass is half full and sunshine and rainbows. The entire family has so much drama going on it makes a high school cheer leading team look tame. I've put so much on my friends that I can't imagine them tolerating my emotions in any form. Through it all I still feel terrible with no place to go. It's almost as if I've ceased to exist except to do things here and there. No one wants to or has the time or energy to deal with what I feel and at this point I know for a fact that some family members would firmly believe I just want attention. It's not that I like dropping all my problems on someone else but there's only so many things I can do. -sigh- I wonder if there's a point to it or not even.

Because in truth, I am that monster.
We are an awkward little system that obsesses over things. We are Sam, Beyond, Stacy, Kevin, Kitty, Shannon,Link, Peyita, Stephen, Nicole, Damon, Pumpkin, Illonor, Daran,LIly. Feel free to send random cute things.