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Old 02-23-2019, 05:00 PM  
butchar1
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Preston
Posts: 2
Default Re: Attachment/obsession with strong female figures

Hi there, i am late into this conversation but reading these have been a breath of fresh for me and so comforting as this has been a huge issue affecting my whole life since being a young child and continues to affect me as an adult in the present day. I have a diagnosis , of bipolar however am very aware that this is a huge factor affecting or at least in conjunction with my moods.
I have been receiving psychotherapy for my attachment issues, i certainly have anxious/preoccupied attachment style and this always shows itself with older women in a position of caring for me, and who i see as inspirations to me. I put these women on
pedistools and feel the need to tell them all the time how much they mean to me and what they have done for me.
Obviously these feelings are very intense and inevitably not them same for the other person, and i know that so i end up fantasising (as a form of self soothing) that they are comforting me like a mother and being a big part of my life like i wanted my own mother to be.
My anxiety is triggered so easily by a lack of contact from an attachment figure, i know that this stems from a fear of abandonment by a mother figure and of course it is all my fault that they have left me because i have pushed them away with my obsessive and intrusive behaviour. Typical behaviour of an anxiously attached person.
I am trying to get better at managing this, self soothing and self care, not needed reassurance from others all the time and being able to look after my inner child etc, but i do keep falling into this pattern of behaviour its affecting the management of my moods and anxiety.
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