Hi,

My name is Jess. I suffer from Bipolar I, OCD, and BPD.

I just got taken of Vraylar and put on Seroquel. I am feeling the most rotten side effects. My dad said I've always felt side effects, I'm just now being more observant. I should probably mention that I'm 28 (turning 29 in August) and still living with my parents. I've been high-functioning, low functioning, high-functioning, etc. I don't know, really. Basically, I've felt high-functioning most of my life, except junior year of college where I had to take a leave of absence the entire year due to a depressive episode, because I was sleeping all the time and missing all my classes. Back then I had cyclothymia,then, Bipolar II- but, according to my new psychiatrist, it fluctuates. But, I definitely feel more manic now, so Bipolar I, it is.

I made the mistake of telling him I had these new symptoms like my hand tremors were coming back and I had thoughts of suicide--even though I didn't really want to end my life. I think I was just going through a Bipolar low and when I'm sad I do sad things like listen to sad songs and watch sad movies and I was watching The Skeleton Twins, which is funny, but very sad, and Kristen Wiig talked about "a way out" and that repeated in my head. So I told my doctor I was getting tremors again, which had gone away with the Vraylar. I was getting panicky. I no longer wanted to take my Klonopin, because I freaking hate taking medication (although I wish I had some anti-nausea medication) and I was having thoughts of suicide. He diagnosed me with BPD, also because I couldn't stop texting him, even though the line he gave me was for emergencies and I had low self-esteem and, he basically diagnosed me over text. I haven't seen him yet. He's a good doctor. I promise. I forced it out of him. I was doing my own research, because I have a Master's in Public Health that I don't use. And I research on PubMed and official websites and I noticed I matched up with BPD, so I straight up asked him and he said "You meet the criteria." So, I'm sure, that was a trigger to all these symptoms. And I'm sure the panicky feeling was that I was 28, had been diagnosed with OCD when I was 17, and it had been eleven years and I felt I had gotten worse, so my OCD kept going "11 years. 11 years. 11 years." In my brain.

So, it was my mistake to report these symptoms to my doctor.

He took me off Vraylar, which was actually making me feel good, and put me on the lowest dose of Seroquel. After just two nights, I felt miserable. I wanted to crawl on the floor and lie there and die- not in a suicidal way, I was just so tired. Fatigue was one of the symptoms, but it hit me so hard, after just two nights. It is hitting me hard right now, and it's been four nights.

I've had so many side effects to this medication, so soon. My question is, do you usually have so many? Because the ones I usually get from medication are constipation and weight gain, which work wonders together.

I'm getting constipation, too. I don't know. If that's a side effect. I can't remember.

But, fatigue, dizziness, lightheadedness, dry mouth, not just nausea, but severe nausea (severe nausea is not a side effect), I'm getting everything.

The thing is, my tremors have gotten worse. The Seroquel is supposed to make that go away. And now the tremors have spread to my body. My knees are shaking now. My arms. Everything. And my hand tremors have gotten worse. I couldn't even hold a book the other day. I was so upset I started crying.

These attacks are coming out of nowhere. I'm fine. Jovial, then, two days ago, I start getting tremors, yesterday, I got panicky. Today, I'm fine. Then, I stand in the shower, I get fatigued, and start panicking because of the fatigue. I can't even stand.

Are the side effects supposed to be this extreme?

And by the way, I have reached out to my doctor and his medical assistant, neither have gotten back to me.

Please help. I have to work all day Monday and I can't miss it.