Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmina
I'm sick of constantly putting on a 'brave face' to the world, having a constant smile, telling people I'm 'fine'. It's become such a habit this smiling and trying to appear 'well', been doing it my whole life, that it's making me feel worse because a) it's a lie, and b) it's such hard work to maintain and it's wearing me out the more I have to put into it and the worse I feel inside.
And yet I also don't know how not to be 'well' - I'm so afraid of people seeing me as someone who can't cope and I've always been the one who copes with anything (because inside nothing really touches me - I just dissociate). I don't know how not to habitually smile or say 'I'm OK' when asked.
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I am finding this to be true for me too.
I did try to be true. My dentist said I looked well or at least better than my previous visit. I was brave and said if only I felt it. People don't like the truth...
My sympathies to you Carmina
Much love