I have no experience with this.. however, something just struck me when reading your post. You said you don’t think that therapy works for you if you don’t have the positive mutual feelings. (Something among those lines anyways).. but does it have to be a romantic mutual feeling?

I have never had to deal with romantic feelings for a t, but I do feel like we have mutual positive feelings for each other. Like we both respect each other. I generally care about his well being as a person as a whole and I feel he does the same for me. Perhaps you can identify those positive feelings and focus in those? I am sure much easier said than done.