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Originally Posted by guilloche
I think I'm doing OK (re: old therapist). In the moment, it was pretty horrifying - it's the only time I've ever left in the middle of a session! But, we clearly weren't on the same page, so even though it's sad, I'm coping. I think it helps to realize that I was probably *never* going to feel safe enough to open with up with her, so she sort of did me a favor. But *yikes* - I definitely wasn't expecting that going in!
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i'm glad you had the courage to do what felt right for you in the moment. i almost walked out on my ex-T one time when he was becoming quite defensive and was completely on another planet and clearly mis-attuned to what i was trying to get across to him. i felt so frustrated, misunderstood and angry in that moment, but i was too scared to fully leave because i was too fearful of imagining my life without him in it. i was quite attached (unhealthily) and enmeshed with him during that period. but similar to what you said, i never could fully trust my T either, partially because of his own insecurities that he brought into our relationship, often mentioning how he felt like he 'had to walk on eggshells', so not to upset me or the 'delicate' balance of our relationship. as much as i tried to make it work and come to trust him, things like this and also his inconsistencies got in the way all too often to where i couldn't feel safe enough in myself to fully let him in.
sorry to hear that your sleep has not been good. improvements in my sleep was the first positive improvement for me and it started happening within the first two weeks of starting NFB. prior to the NFB, my sleep was quite broken and i maybe got a total of 4 hours of sleep a night. i always woke in the early AM (3am was the musing hour for me) and my mind would race and race for an hour or two. plus i was so hyper-vigilant, any slight noise, movement, or light would startle me awake with panic and a racing heart.
hopefully, if you can get your sleep sorted, it should help to improve other aspects of your life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
One interesting thing - in my last call with him, he said that I'm reacting more strongly than he would expect, but also my reactions don't really match what he'd expect to see for the sites we're working on. So, for now, he's assuming my brain is "a little bit different" - but if that continues, he's going to throw that theory out, and assume my brain is "totally different" from everyone else - and give me a bunch of other protocols to start trying, so we can pin down what works. 
I'm not sure what to think about that. Honestly, I'm starting to wonder/worry if it has to do with trauma in my past - |
just wondering, and i'm hoping that your practitioner would have asked you this prior to starting your NFB, but have you ever had any physical head injury, maybe a severe knock to your head or did you suffer any physical abuse as a child where you may have been hit on the head? i recall Sebern discussing that people who have physical/traumatic brain injuries do not respond well or can have odd reactions to NFB in those regions where the injury occurred.
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
Do you remember how long it took before you and your trainer figured out what would work for you, when you were first getting started?
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as i said above, i started seeing positive results in the first two weeks of starting and i was doing 3 sessions a week in the begining. we started with C4 to find a frequency that felt calming and good and did this for about 6 sessions. then we soon moved to T3-T4 and P4-T4 and would do a little training at both those sites for a session. of all the sites i did training at, i responded very well at either P4 alone and at P4-T4. i felt that these were my 'sweet spots' and probably did the most training overall at these sites.
i hope your practitioner can help you find something son that will begin to work well for you too. glad to hear you are not giving up hope yet.
hang in there
