I hear you. I hate myself for wanting more and I know nothing will ever happen. I don't want to ruin our therapy, so I wish I could just make those feelings go away. I don't know how.

He's happily married, I'm lonely and miserable. I hope he loves me platonically (I doubt, but I hope), but deep down I wish he felt something more. I know it's wrong. I know it would ruin everything. It's so confusing. I know it's not about him, it's about me - I want to be loved, so I seek it from the only person in my life I can truly trust.

I should tell him, but I won't. Sorry for being useless, just wanted to send you some hugs and support. You're not alone.