I'm having major cravings to drink right now - won't, there are advantages to being flat broke, and on antabuse, but it's driving me a bit nuts. I think it's because I'm tapering off clonazepam which feels a bit like alcohol withdrawal and cross tapering onto valium, which feels a bit too much like alcohol. In short my brain is a bit of a chemical mess at the moment. Plus I'll have money again on Thurs., and Fri. as that's when I get my disability cheque and the money from my brother. So that's future opportunity so my brain is trying to convince me to stop the antabuse. Not going to happen.

I've made it this far. I'm determined not to go backwards. I just wish I could unscrew the top of my head, pull out my brain and give it a good rinse in cold water to hopefully knock some sense into it.

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